THE UGLY BABY

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says, "That's the ugliest baby I've ever seen, Ugh!"
The woman goes to the rear of the door fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!"
The man says: "You go right up there and tell him off - go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."

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THE STRANGERS

A very drunk man comes out of the bar and sees another very drunk man. He looked up into the sky and said, "Is this the sun or the moon?"
The other drunk man answered, "I don't know. I'm a stranger here myself."

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APPLICATION FORM

Lloyd was filling up an application form for a job. He promptly filled the columns titled NAME, AGE, ADDRESS, etc. Then he got to the column SALARY EXPECTED: He was not sure as to what should be filled there. After much thought, he wrote YES.

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OIL POLLUTION

A little boy was told to tell the effect of oil pollution, he said: "When my mother opened a tin of sardines last night, it was full of oil and all the sardines were dead!"

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Why not me or grandfather?

A mother had two children, one was a baby and the other was 4years old. One day, the elder asked his mother, "why do you br£a$tfeed my little brother and not me?" she replied, "because your brother has no teeth and he can't eat" the child then said, "why don't you br£a$tfeed grandfather too?"

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THE CAR KEYS

peter and Paul were shopping at a mall. When it was time to leave, Paul began to search his pockets frantically.
"Don't be mad Peter, but I think I lost the car keys again."
"You idiot!" Peter said. "Next time you should be more careful and lock them in the car!"

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HARRY AND LLOYD

Harry and Lloyd were speeding down the road. A police car pulled them over. "You were going eighty!" the officer yelled. "why on earth were you driving so fast?"
"We have a good reason, " Lloyd explained to the cop. "Our brakes are no good - so we wanted to get there before we had an accident!"

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WISE LLOYD

Lloyd and two college professors were on a trip to the Sahara Desert. They were all told that they could take only one thing with them. The first professor said, "I'm going to take a sandwich so that, if I get hungry, I can eat." the second professor said, "I'm going to take a jug of water. That way, if I get thirsty, I can drink." Lloyd said, "I'm going to take a car door. That way, if it gets got, I can roll the window down!"

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