Riddle 19 - How many fish

There were 10 fish in the tank, two of them died when they were born, 5 of them were drown and another one drown. How Many Fish Were Left In The Tank?


cHECK THE ANSWEr scroll to riddle 19.

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ASK AND IT SHALL BE GIVEN

John Jude closed from work work earlier than usual on Wednesday, when on his way home; John decided that he would give any lady that comes his way a free ride. After the third turn from his office in Victoria Island, he saw a Catholic Sister and gave her a free lift. While they were driving; he did not know how he would start a conversation with her. John therefore placed his hand on the Sister's laps pretending it was the car gear stick. The Sister softly said "Mathew 7:7 "; He quickly removed his hand. Some distance later, John attempted placing his hand on the Sister's laps a second and third time, each time, the Sister repeated, "Mathew 7:7 ". When the Sister got to her destination, she opened the door, thanked John and said to him, "Young man, The problem with you is that you don't read your Bible" When the Jude got home, he took his Bible and opened Mathew 7:7 ; which reads "Ask and it shall be given 2 you". Jude was really really sorry for himself.

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Riddle 18 - The driver

A bus driver was heading down
a street in Victoria Island. He went
past a stop sign without
stopping, he turned left where
there was a "no left turn" sign
and he went the wrong way on
a one-way street. Then he went
on the left side of the road past
a cop car. Still - he didn't break
any traffic laws. Why not.

cHECK THE ANSWEr scroll to riddle 18.

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WHY MOST STUDENTS FAIL THEIR EXAMS

Let's look at the whole of a year. A year contains 365days, there are 52 Sundays in a year, number of days left 313. Summer holidays 50, Days left 263. 8 hours daily sleep-130 days, Days left 141. 1 hour daily playing means 15 days, Days left 126. 2 hours daily for eating means 30 days. Days left 96. 1 hr talking means 15 days, Days left 81. Examination days 35 days, Days left 46. Eid & Government holidays 20, Days left 26. Movies, TV at least 25 days, Days left 1. That 1 day is your BIRTHDAY.

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I CAN'T TAKE THE RISK

A man and his ever nagging and very troublesome wife went on holiday to the holy city of Jerusalem when the wife died unexpectedly. The undertaker said it will cost £5000 to ship her home or £50 to bury her there in Jerusalem. The man said that he'll prefer to ship her home. The undertaker said, "but Sir, why don't you bury her in the Holy Land here and save the money. The man said "a long time ago a man called Jesus was buried here and three days later he rose from the dead....I can't take the risk.

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DADDY AND AUNTY JANE

Little Johnny sees his Daddy's car passing the playground and going into the woods. Curious, he follows the car and sees Daddy and Aunt Jane k!ssing. Johnny finds this so exciting and can barely contain himself as he runs home and starts to tell his mother excitedly. "MOMMY, MOMMY, I WAS AT THE PLAYGROUND AND DADDY AND, " Mommy tells him to slow down, but that she wants to hear the story. So Johnny tells her. "I was at the playground and I saw Daddy's car go into the woods with Aunt Jane. I went to look and Daddy was giving Aunt Jane a big kiss, then he helped her take off her shirt, then Aunt Jane helped Daddy take his
p@nts off, then Aunt Jane laid down on the seat, then Daddy, " At this point, Mommy cut him off and said, "Johnny, this is such an interesting story, I suppose you save the rest of it for supper time. I want to see the look on Daddy's face when you tell it tonight." At the dinner table, Mommy asks Johnny to tell his story. He describes the car into the woods, the undressing, laying down on the seat, and, "Then Daddy and Aunt Jane did that same thing Mommy and Uncle Jeff used to do when Daddy was in the Army."

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WE DO THIS EVERYDAY

Joel and his friend Jude had been drinking since until they got so drunk. When they were through with their drinking, they both went to Joel's house. On getting there, Joel tiptoed into the room; He opened the door and saw another man on his wife. He turned to his friend, "You see, that is my beloved wife, and thats me on top of her, we do this everyday!

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JOHNNY'S PRAYER AT DINNER

At dinner time, Johnny, a little boy was ordered by his mother to lead in prayer.

Johnny: But I don't know what to pray about?

Dad: just pray for your family members.

"Dear Lord," Johnny started, "I thank you for giving me such lovely parents as mum and dad. Thank you for our visitors and their children, who finished all my cookies and iced cream. Bless them so that they won't come again. I pray you forgive our neighbor's son, who removed my sister's clothes and wrestled with her on her bed. This coming christmas, please Lord, send clothes to all those poor nak£d ladies on my daddy's phone and provide shelter for the homeless men who always use mom's room when daddy is at work. AMEN!"and there was no response!

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fool me

If you fool me once, shame on you, But if you fool me twice, shame on me!

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10 MILLION DOLLARS $

An old woman who was about 90 years of age who is hypertensive won a 10 million dollars Jackpot. The children are worried about how to disclose the news to her, because of her hypertensive condition and they don't want her to die. They finally decided to inform their family Doctor who has been taking care of the old woman. On hearing the news, the Doctor said "Don't worry, I'm a trained professional in this field just bring her, I know how to disclose such news to a patient in that kind of situation." Now when the old woman arrived, the Doctor told her to sit down, and so, the woman sat down facing the Doctor.

Doctor: mama, if it happens that you win up to 10 million dollars what will do with it?

Grandma: Hmmm! Doctor, you know you have been so nice to me, If I win 10 million dollars, I will give you half of it.

The doctor shouted meeee!!! He fell down and died.

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WHY JUDAS SOLD JESUS

One day, Jesus was walking with his disciples in a wilderness, all the disciples were very tired and hungry due to the day's stress. So, Jesus ordered his disciples to pick up a stone each. (the disciples didn't understand but complied). Judas was so angry and hungry and so, he picked up a very small pebble, whilst the other disciples picked up big stones, after sometime, Jesus commanded each disciple's stone to turn to bread, except Judas' whose small pebble turned to dough-nut, Judas became very angry as he watched the other disciples eat their huge loaves of bread. Later in the evening, they were still on the wilderness hungry, and Jesus ordered his disciples to pick up a stone each again and this time, Judas went to carry a huge rock.Jesus ordered them to sit on their stones to listen to the evening sermon, ''I got to sell this guy!'' Judas whispered.

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EVERYTHING HAS BEEN PREPARED

A man travelled abroad, checked into a hotel and discovered that was a computer in his room which is connected to the internet, so he decided to send an email to his wife. However, he accidentally typed the wrong email address, and without realizing, he sent the mail to a widow who has just returned from her husband's burial. The widow decided to check her mail, expecting condolence and sympathising messages from families and friends. After reading the first message she fainted. The son rushed in to the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw what is the computer screen which read, To: My Loving Wife, I know you are surprised to hear from me.They have Computers here, and we are allowed to send mails to loved ones. I've just reached and have been checked in. I also assuring you that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow.

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Riddle 17 - I am unchanged

Take away my first letter and I am unchanged; Take away my second letter and I am unchanged; Take away all my remaining letters and I am still unchanged! What am I?

cHECK THE ANSWEr scroll to riddle 17.

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YOUR WIFE FELL FIVE TIMES

An old priest got fed up of all the people in his parish who kept confessing of adultery. One Sunday, on the pulpit, he said, "If I hear one more person confess of adultery, I'll quit!" Well, everyone liked him, so they came up with a coded word. A person who had committed adultery would say he/she had "fallen." This seemed to satisfy the old priest and things went well for a long time until the priest died at an old age. About a week after the new priest arrived, he visited the mayor of the town and seemed very concerned. The priest said, "You have to do something about the sidewalks in town. When people come into the confessional, they keep talking about having fallen." The mayor started to laugh, realizing that no one had told the new priest about the coded word. Before the mayor could even explain, the priest accused the mayor and said, "I don't know what you're laughing about, your wife fell five times this week."

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NOW, WE'RE GOING TO SEE A MOVIE.

One day, a truck driver was on his way to a state zoo to deliver 200 penguins, on his way, his truck broke down and doesn't seem to respond to repair after several hours and so, the diver decided to make an arrangement with another truck driver. "Please, help me take these penguins to the state zoo he said and they agreed on $500. The next day the original truck driver arrives in town and sees the new truck driver crossing the road with the 200 penguins walking in single file behind him. The original truck ran to meet the other truck driver and asks, "I don't understand what's going on, didn't I give you $500 to take these penguins to the state zoo yesterday?" The new truck driver responds, “I did take them to the zoo, in fact, they really had fun, and I had enough money left over so now we re going to see a movie."

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Mum" said a 5 year old Boy to his Mother "Do all Angels fly? Mother: Yes Dear, why do you ask..? Boy: Well yesterday while you were at the Salon, Dad called our New House Girl an Angel, will she fly too? Mother: Yes Dear, she will fly to their Village tomorrow Morning and never come Back.

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Riddle 16 - what day?

When the day after tomorrow is yesterday, today will be as far from Wednesday as today was from Wednesday when the day before yesterday was tomorrow. What is the day after this day?

cHECK THE ANSWEr scroll to riddle 16.

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RICH MAN, POLICE AND THIEF

A man was carrying a bag like a wealthy man and was walking around a trade fair. A thief wanted to snatch the bag from him, not knowing the man was holding the bag very tightly. The man and the thief were struggling and dragging the bag when a police man came, arrested them and took them to the police station.

OFFICER: Who owns this bag?
BIG MAN: Officer, I'm the owner of the bag
THIEF: Don't mind this man, the bag is mine
BIG MAN: OK since he's dragging it, let me go home and get the reciept to show that I'm the owner.
OFFICER: OK, I give you just 30 minutes.
The officer and the thief waited for more than 3hours and the man didn't come back, so, the thief started to complain. Officer, you see now, the man has stylishly run away, I told you the bag is mine, can you now believe that it's mine?
OFFICER: Yes, you said it but I can't just give you the bag like that, the other man won't agree. Now I'll give it to you but first, I have to know what is inside before allowing you to go with it. Now open and let's see what's inside. As they opened the bag, they saw a human head inside. The officer shout JESUS!!! come and see where a man is confessing.
THIEF: Officer, please, I beg I'm not the owner of the bag, I'm a thief, please... I don't have another work aside stealing, please o... I'm a criminal.

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THAT'S NOT FAIR, DAD

A boy caught his dad red handed with their maid making l0v£ and his dad gave him 500 naira (nigerian currency) not to tell his mum. Almost refusing the money, the boy said: dad, that's not fair, mum gave me 1000 naira when I caught her with our gate man.

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A TOUCHING STORY

There was a mosquito and a dog who loved each other very much. One day the mosquito got very excited and gave the dog a love bite. The dog too became emotional and returned the love bite to the mosquito. The next day… the mosquito died of rabies and dog died of malaria…

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Ultra-modern male toilet

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JUST LEAVE ME ALONE

A surgeon told his patient that woke up after having been operated: "I'm afraid we're going to operate you again. Because, you see, I forgot my rubber gloves and a pair of scissors inside you." "Well, if it's just because of them, I'd rather pay for them, you just leave me alone."

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Riddle 15 - The contest

A King organised a contest to see who would marry his only daughter, the princess.
The Princess was put in a 50x50 foot carpeted room. Each of her four suitors were put in one corner of the room with a small box to stand on. The first of them to touch the Princess' hand would be the winner and become the heir to the throne. The rules of the test were that the contestants could not walk over the carpet, cross the plane of the carpet, or hang from anything; nor could they use anything but their body and wits (i.e. no magic or telepathy, nor any items such as ladders, block and tackles, etc.). One suitor figured out a way and married the Princess and became the heir to the throne. How did he figure it out?

cHECK THE ANSWEr scroll to riddle 15.

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I'M PUTTING ON MY SAFETY HELMET

While driving to work one day, I was delayed by a very serious traffic (hold up), while still thinking of how I'll get out of the traffic, I saw a bike man riding on the narrow pavement separating the bridge from a big river just in order to get out of the hold up. I told him to be patient but he Ignored. So, I asked him "If eventually you fall inside that river, can you swim out of it alive?" He replied, "I agree that I can't swim but I'm sure I can't die because I'm putting on my safety helmet"

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URINATING ON DADDY.S FACE

This shows that it's not easy to be a nursing father...

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Riddle 14 - The beggar's brother

A beggar's brother died, but the man who died had no brother. How could this be?

cHECK THE ANSWEr scroll to riddle 14.

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YOU'LL DIE OF PNEUMONIA

Patient: Doctor, are you sure I'm suffering from pneumonia? I've heared once about a doctor treating someone with pneumonia and finally he died of typhus.

Doctor: Don't worry, it won't happen to me. If I treat someone with pneumonia he will surely die of pneumonia."

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BOYS REMAIN BOYS

This shows that boys will ever continue to behave like boys, irrespective of age.

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THIS IS NOT MY DOG!

One man walks into a store one day and sees a cute little dog. He asks the shopkeeper, “Does your dog bite?” The store keeper answers, “No, my dog does not bite.” The man tries to pet the dog and the dog bites him. “Ouch!” He says, “I thought you said your dog does not bite!” The store keeper replies, “That is not my dog!”

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BIKE MAN BACKING A GOAT

One day, I was walking through the streets of Lagos, I wasn't happy because of the hard times I was passing through and so I didn't smile or laugh at anyone, as I was about to cross to the other side of the road, I saw someone or should I say something that made me laugh, a man on bike and his passenger was a goat clinging to his bike. I couldn't help but laugh. I was happy that at last I had to laugh at someone. That made my day.

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YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME

One day, a woman caught her husband sleeping with the secretary. She said, " honey, you can't do this to me". The husband replied, "yes I know, that's why am doing it to her"

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Riddle 13 - How many months?

Some months have 31 days; how many have 30?

cHECK THE ANSWEr scroll to riddle 13.

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THE CAT GETS WET

One day, a fish was swimming about 1 foot below the surface of a lake and saw a fly flying just out of striking distance. The fish said to itself, “If that fly should come six inches closer, I’ll jump up and have myself a juicy meal.” Just then, a bear on the shore of the lake looked up and said to itself, ” if that fly gets any closer to that fish, the fish will jump up, and i’ll catch the fish and have myself a wonderful meal.” As fate would have it, an hunter saw what was happening. He thought to himself, “If that fly moves closer to the fish, the fish will jump, the bear will lean over to grab the fish, and i’ll shoot the bear.” Just then, a rat standing behind the hunter said to itself,” if that fly moves closer to the fish, the fish will jump, the bear will lean over to grab the fish, the hunter will lean over to shoot the bear, and I'll grab the bread from the back pocket of the hunter. However, unknown to the rat, a cat was observing everything and thinking, “If that fly moves closer to the fish, the fish will jump, the bear will grab the fish, the hunter will shoot the bear, the rat will grab the sandwich, and I'll snatch the rat.” At that very moment, the fly dropped a few inches, the fish grabbed the fly, the bear grabbed the fish, the hunter shot the bear, the rat grabbed the bread, the cat jumped, missed the rat and landed in the lake.

The moral of this story is: If the fly drops six inches the cat will get wet.

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A SECRET BETWEEN GOD AND EVE

Read through this short conversation between God and Eve.

'God, I have a problem. '

'What's your problem Eve?'

'I know you created me and provided this beautiful garden and all these wonderful animals as well as that hilarious snake, but I'm just not happy, '

'And why is that Eve?'

'God, I am lonely and bored and I'm sick to death of apples.'

'Well Eve, in that case I shall create a man for you'

'Man?

What is that, God?'

'A flawed base creature with many bad traits. he'll lie, cheat and be vain. He will revel in childish things. he'll be bigger than you and will like fighting, hunting and killing things. He won't be too smart so will need your advice to think properly. He will have a limited emotional capacity so will need to be trained. He will look silly when aroused, but since You've been complaining of boredom, I'll create him in such a way that he will satisfy your physical needs and you need never be bored again.'

'Sounds great', said Eve but what's the catch, God'

'Well, you can have him on one condition.'

'And what's that, God?'

'As I said, he'll be proud, arrogant and self-admiring, so you'll have to let him believe I made him first. And it will have to be our little secret. You know, woman to woman....

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CYCLING TO SCHOOL

The topic for today's English lesson was conjuction,

Teacher explains: "conjuctions are used to link or join two words, phrases or sentences." (while the teacher was teaching, she noticed that Johnny was not paying attention to her. She then decides to ask him a question.)

Teacher: Johnny, join these two sentences together. I was cycling to school, I saw a dead body.

Johnny: (thinking for a while) I saw a dead body cycling to school.

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Riddle 12 - the tied goat and the hay

A goat is tied to a five meter rope, six meters away from it was a pile of hay. Without breaking the rope, the goat was able to get to the pile of hay. How is this possible?

cHECK THE ANSWEr scroll to riddle 12.

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DON'T WORRY, I CAN CURE PNEUMONIA

A man suffering from a terrible cold went to see his doctor. The doctor prescribed some pills, but they didn't help. On his next visit to the hospital, the doctor gave him a shot, but that didn't do any good too. On his third visit the doctor told the man, "Go home and take a hot bath. As soon as you finish bathing throw open all the windows and stand in the draft." "But doctor," protested the patient, "if I do that, I'll get pneumonia." "I know," said the doctor, "I can cure pneumonia."

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TWO DOGS ON THEIR WEDDING DAY

Can you imagine, I was riding on my bicycle one day, when I saw a church where a wedding was going on, being so hungry with no hope of getting money to buy food and thinking of the food that will shared there, I entered the church. I lingered to see the couple of the day, guess who the couple are... Two dogs.

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SHORT TIME TO LIVE

A man goes to his doctor for a complete medical checkup. He has not been feeling well for a while and wants to find out if he's ill. After the checkup the doctor comes out with the results of the medical examination. "I'm afraid I have some bad news. You're dying and you don't have much time to live," the doctor says. "Oh no, that's terrible. How long have I got?" the man asks. "10..." says the doctor. "10? 10 what? Months? Weeks? What?!" he asks desperately. "10...9...8...7...6..."

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STRAIGHT TO YOUR BALLS

A guy in who was a hurry mistakenly used the ladies toilet in a big time hotel. He sat down so comfortable and saw three buttons . WW. WA. and APR. CURIOUSLY. He pressed WW and his body was gently sprayed wit warm water,he loved it so much so he decided to press the WA. and blast of air dried him up happily he went for the last button APR and he woke up to meet himself in the hospital, then the nurse said sir, APR means Automatic Pad Removal. When the machine could not find any pad on you it went straight to your balls.

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STUPID MAMA

Yo mama is so stupid that when the computer said "Press any key to continue", she couldn't find the 'Any' key.

Yo mama is so stupid that I saw her jumping up and down, asked what she was doing, and she said she drank a bottle of medicine and forgot to shake it.

Yo mama is so stupid that she puts lipstick on her head just to make-up her mind

Yo mama is so stupid that I told her Christmas was just around the corner and she went looking for it.

Yo mama is so stupid that on her job application where it says emergency contact she put 911.

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Riddle 11 - 7 apples

A doctor and a bus driver are both in love with the same girl, an attractive girl named Jane. The bus driver had to go on a long bus trip that would last a week. Before he left, he gave Sarah seven apples. Why?

cHECK THE ANSWEr scroll to riddle 11.

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WHY A BEAR SHOT A WAITER

A panda bear walks into a restaurant. He orders the special delicacies and eats everything. After he finished eating, he pulled out a pistol, killed the waiter and started to walk out through the door. The owner of the restaurant got annoyed says, “Hey, what are you doing? You come in here, you kill my waiter and walk away without even saying a word. I don't understand." The panda says, “Look it up in the dictionary,” and walks out through the door. So the owner got a dictionary and looked under the heading “Panda”. It reads: “Panda, black and white animal; lives in central China; eats shoots and leaves.”

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Riddle 10 - The shot

One woman shoots her husband. After the shot she holds him under water for over 5 minutes. Finally, she hangs him. But 5 minutes later they both go out together and enjoy a wonderful dinner night together. How can this be? Explain.

cHECK THE ANSWEr scroll to riddle 10.

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THE FORTUNE

Daughter told to her mother,

“Right now I just see a healthy white big cat went out from our kitchen”
Mother tells daughter,
” It is good sign and fortune to see a white big cat.”
Daughter replied,
“Yes, and fortune is that it has eaten all of your foods.”

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HUNG TO DRY

After hearing that one of the patients in a mental hospital had saved another from a suicide attempt by pulling him out of a bathtub, the hospital director reviewed the rescuer's file and called him into his office. "Mr. Haroldson, your records and your heroic behavior indicate that you're ready to go home. I'm only sorry that the man you saved later killed himself with a rope around the neck." "Oh, he didn't kill himself," Mr. Haroldson replied. "I hung him up to dry."

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civilization

civilization has now got to the animal kingdom

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POTATOES

Three women escaped from prison. A blonde and two brunets. So to get away from the cops they hid in an abandoned farm house. In the farm house there were three burlap sacks sitting around. So they hid in them. When the cops came to the farm house the one of the cops saw the sacks, the officers yells, "There's just three burlap sacks in here!" To which his partner replies, "Then kick them just to be sure it's not them hiding". The officer goes and kicks the one with the brunet in it and she yells, "MEEEYYOWW!" the officer said "Oh, its just a stupid cat in there." So he kicks the one with the other brunet in it and she yells, "RUUFFF RUFFF!", so the officer says, "Oh, it's just a stupid dog!" Then he kicks the sack with the blonde in it and she yells, "POTATOES!"

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ALL YOUR TROUBLES

Girl: When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden.

Boy: That's very kind of you, darling, But I don't have any worries or troubles.

Girl: Well that is because we aren't married yet.

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I THOUGHT YOU DIDN'T KNOW IT

One day, a mother called her child and asked him, 4 x 4 and the boy said twelve. The mother got annoyed and started beating him. Just then the dad came in and asked what the problem was, then the mother answerd "I asked him just 4 x 4 and he doesn't know the answer", then the dad asked his wife,"what is the answer?" The mum said its 14. Then the dad said" GOD has saved you, I thought you didn't know it".

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SOFTWARE ERROR - SOFTWARE UPDATE

A woman is having s£x with her lov£r in an apartment 20 stories high......Suddenly her husband returns from a long trip, and she hears him approaching in the apartment. So she tells the lov£r: "Do not move at all....I will resolve this situation!" In comes the husband: "who is this?" asked the husband
Wife: "Oh sweetie...this is just a robot I bought to have s£x with when you're not around, so that I don't have to cheat with your friends or with the neighbours....I did it because you spend all the time traveling and u know that I...uh hm...have needs!!" Husband: "Oh honey I understand perfectly well.....I believe you....ok let's do a quickie now, I came home as fast as I can and I'm extremely horny now!!"
Wife:"OH NO DARLING....yesterday I got my p£riod....u better take a bath, I'll prepare u something to eat..." (The lov£r is left with the husband in the room alone, while the wife walked out......) Husband: DAmn I'm so fu*king horny....I am going to f*ck this robot instead (He tries entering the robot from behind.....) With a metallic and robotic voice the lov£r proclaims: "SYSTEM ERROR! WRONG HOLE!!........SYSTEM ERROR! WRONG HOLE!" The husband says: "f*ck this crappy robot....I'm going to throw it out of the god damn window!!!!" The lov£r realizes that he is 20 stories high in the apartment and exclaims: "SOFTWARE UPDATE!!!!! SOFTWARE UPDATE!!!!! YOU MAY TRY AGAIN......I REPEAT....TRY AGAIN!!!!

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Brain teaser 2 - FLOATING SHIP

There is a ship floating at anchor at low tide with a ladder over the side. The ladder has 10 rungs, each 1m apart. If at low tide 5 rungs are below the surface of the water, and the water rises at 1.5m per hour, then how many rungs of the ladder will be visable 2 1/2 hours later?

To check the answer, scroll to the top of this page and select the brain teasers answers tab.

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CELEBRATING FREEDOM

Wife: Hey! look at that funny guy who is drunk...

Husband: who is he?

Wife: He is my ex-boyfriend, I denied him for marriage

Husband: Oh My God! He is still celebrating his freedom.

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