Daughter
NOTE: This application will be
incomplete and rejected unless
accompanied by a complete
financial statement, job history,
lineage, and current medical
report from your doctor.
NAME____________________
DATE OF BIRTH_____________
HEIGHT___________
WEIGHT____________ IQ__________
GPA______________
SOCIAL SECURITY#________________
DRIVERS LICENSE #________________
BOY SCOUT RANK AND
BADGES_______________________________________
HOME
ADDRESS_______________________
CITY/STATE___________ ZIP______
Do you have parents? ___Yes
___No
Number of years they have been
married
______________________________
If less than your age, explain
___________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________
ACCESSORIES SECTION:
A. Do you own or have access to
a van? __Yes __No
B. A truck with oversized tires?
__Yes __No
C. A waterbed? __Yes __No
D. A pickup with a mattress in
the back? __Yes __No
E. A tattoo? __Yes __No
F. Do you have an earring, nose
ring,
pierced tongue, pierced cheek or
a belly button ring? __Yes __No
(IF YOU ANSWERED 'YES' TO ANY
OF THE ABOVE, DISCONTINUE
APPLICATION
AND LEAVE PREMISES
IMMEDIATELY. I SUGGEST
RUNNING.)
ESSAY SECTION:
In 50 words or less, what does
'LATE' mean to you?
______________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________
In 50 words or less, what does
'DON'T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER'
mean to you?
______________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________
In 50 words or less, what does
'ABSTINENCE' mean to you?
______________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________
REFERENCES SECTION:
Church you attend
__________________________________________________
How often you attend
________________________________________________
When would be the best time to
interview your:
father? _____________
mother? ____________
pastor? _____________
SHORT-ANSWER SECTION:
Answer by filling in the blank.
Please answer freely, all
answers are confidential.
A. If I were shot, the last place I
would want shot would be:
______________________________________________________________
B. If I were beaten, the last bone
I would want broken is my:
______________________________________________________________
C. A woman's place is in the:
______________________________________________________________
D. The one thing I hope this
application does not ask me
about is:
______________________________________________________________
E. What do you want to do IF
you grow up?
____________________________
______________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________
F. When I meet a girl, the thing I
always notice about her first is:
______________________________________________________________
G. What is the current going rate
of a hotel room?
________________________
I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION
SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND
CORRECT TO
THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE
UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH,
DISMEMBERMENT,
NATIVE AMERICAN ANT TORTURE,
CRUCIFIXION, ELECTROC UTION,
CHINESE
WATER TORTURE, RED HOT
POKERS, AND HILLARY CLINTON
KISS TORTURE.
_________________________________________________________
Applicant's Signature (that
means sign your name, moron!)
_______________________________________________________________
Mother's Signature & Father's
Signature
_______________________________________________________________
Pastor/Priest/Rabbi State
Representative/Congressman
Thank you for your interest, and
it had better be genuine and
non-sexual.
Please allow four to six years for
processing.
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