WHAT WILL YOU TAKE OFF...?

A bank manager who was confused with his calculation,asked his secretary to help him out...I have $23,000,000 what will you take off to get 25% and she replied "Sir, honestly, I will take off my blouse, my skirt,my br@ even my p@nts....

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WE CAN'T HEAR YOU

On a lady's wedding day,the pastor asked the usual question: "Anyone who feels this couple shouldn't be joined in holy matrimony should speak or forever remain silent!!!". A young man raised his HAND from behind. Seeing him, the bride FAINTED. After much effort, the bride was revived. After she was revived, the pastor asked the man, "WHY did u raise ur hand?" The man replied...I just want to inform that we can't hear you clearly at the back here.

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NO WEAPON

A baby boy was born yesterday at Queens Hospital laughing instead of crying,.. the more the mid-wifes beat him the more he laughs like crazy. Suddenly the doctor noticed he had something in his hand, so he pulled the tiny hand open and discovers he was holding three abortion pills.....The baby looked at his mother and said "NO WEAPON FASHIONED AGAINST ME SHALL PROSPER.

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THE VICTIM'S SON

A crowd gathered at an accident scene and a smart and nosey journalist wanted to get the story first hand. "Make way, I am d victim's son" he shouted. Slowly, the crowd paved way for him. On getting there, lying lifeless, in front of the car was a goat!

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I DISGRACED HIS FAMILY

A young girl was going on her first date. Her grandma said, "sit down and let me tell you about young boys of nowadays. He will to try to kiss you, you'll like it but don't let him do that. He will try to touch your breast, you'll like it but don't let him do that. Most importantly, he will try to get ontop of you to have his way with you, you'll like it but don't let him do that, it will disgrace our family....."

Wit that bit of advice, the girl went on her date. The next day,she told her grandma that her date went just like she predicted. The girl said, "grandma, I didnt let him disgrace this family. When he tried, i just turned, got ontop of him and disgraced his family!!!"

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