Saturday, February 11, 2012

USE YOUR NUMBER 6 IN 6 WAYS

A young boy met a very rich business man and asked him"sir, what is the secret of your success?" and he replied, "boy, you have to use your number 6 in 6 ways". The boy was so surprised and asked him "sir, how in 6ways?" he further replied "I only do business 6 times in a year,
1. I sell bags of rice during d xmas season,
2. I sell children clothes duringchildren's day celebration,
3. I sell poultry during the easter celebration period,
4. I sell condoms on valetine day,
5. I sell indian hemp on Bob marley's rememberance day. So, you see why i am successful?" the boy asked "sir, you did not tell me the 6th" he then smiled and said "
6. I go on VACATION" the boy asked "VACATION? To where?" The man replied " yes I normally on vacation go to jail".
Read more ...

Friday, February 10, 2012

5 DOLLARS PER BOTTLE

An old woman is going up in a
lift in a very lavish department
store when a young, beautiful
woman gets in, smelling of
expensive scent. She turns to the
old woman and says arrogantly:
'Romance by Ralph Lauren,
$3000 a bottle.'
Then another young woman gets
in the lift, She also turns to the
old woman and says snootily:
chanel No 5, $2550 a bottle.'
A few floors later, the old
woman has reached her
destination. As she gets out, she
looks both woman in the eye,
then turns round, bends over and farts, saying: 'Locally made, $5 a bottle .'
Read more ...

Thursday, February 9, 2012

COMPLAINTS

A man was carrying two babies,
one in each arm, while waiting
for a train. A woman upon seeing
those two cute babies asked the
man, "Aren't they cute, what are
their names?" The man giving
the lady an angry look replied, "I
don't know." The lady then
asked, Are they boys or girls?"
The man looking angrier than
before replied "I don't know."
The woman then started to scold
the man, "What kind of a father
are you?". The man replied, "I am
not their father, I am just a
condom salesman and these are
the two complaints that I am
taking back to my company.
Read more ...

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

LARRY'S BAR

A man goes to a shrink and says,
"Doctor, my wife is unfaithful to
me. Every evening, she goes to
Larry's bar and picks up men. In
fact, She sleeps with anybody
who asks her! I'm going crazy.
What do you think I should do?"
"Relax," says the Doctor, "take a
deep breath and calm down.
Now, tell me, exactly where is
Larry's bar?"
Read more ...

Monday, February 6, 2012

KILL TO ESCAPE

Two mad men in a psychiatric
hospital escaped out of their
wards. They knew the guards at
the gate won't allow them to
escape out out of the hospital,
so, both of them decided that
they'll kill the guards and run out
of the hospital, so they headed
for the gate with a knife each.
When they got to the gate, the
guards were not there and the
gates were not locked. One of
the guys said to the other: shit!
Where are these stupid guards
for God's sake?
The second guy replied him:
I'm sure they've gone to eat,
Let's hide there, we'll kill them
and run out as soon as they
show up.
Read more ...