One guy bought a new fridge
for his house. To get rid of his old fridge, he put it in his front yard and hung a sign on it saying: ' free to any good home. If you want it, you take it...'
For three days the fridge sat there without anyone looking twice. He eventually decided that people were too mistrustful of this deal. So he changed the sign to read: 'Fridge for sale $50.'
The next day someone stole ...
Monday, April 30, 2012
Saturday, April 28, 2012
A JOKE ON SIDE EFFECTS
John was sick, so the doctor gave him a tablet.
He started cutting the sides of the tablet.
Doctor asked: "Why are you cutting the sides...??"
John replies: "To avoid side effects...!...
Friday, April 27, 2012
ONE HUNDRED PERCENT ASSURANCE OF RECOVERY
Patient: "What are the
chances of my recovering
doctor?"
Doctor: "One hundred
percent. Medical records
show that nine out of ten
people die of the disease
you have. Yours is the tenth
case I've treated;
the others all die...
Thursday, April 26, 2012
AIR INDIA
Chikku takes a Flight to Singapore and he is Seated next to An Englishman.
.
Chiku open his Tiffin and Serves himself a Roti.
ENGLISHMAN: What is This?
Chikku: Bread India
.
Chikku then opens the Box of Jalebi.
.ENGLISHMAN: What is This?
Chikku : Sweet India
.
With all the food he Hogged on, Chikku lets out a huge Fart!
The Englishman is Offended and in Shock Asks.
.
ENGLISHMAN: What WasThat?
Chikku: Air In...
Wednesday, April 25, 2012
POSITIVE, COMPARATIVE AND SUPERLATIVE
A teaching practice teacher
was preparing for the arrival
of his invigilator, so he
decided to use the adjective
comparative and superlative
drill to rehearse well with the
pupils. He arranged with the
pupils that he would shout
out the positive and they
would all chorus the
comparative and the
superlative.
Here is how it all went on
when the invigilator was
around:
Akpos : Big!
Pupils: Bigger Biggest!
Akpos : Small!
Pupils: Smaller...
Tuesday, April 24, 2012
WHO IS THAT MAN?
A young boy was looking through the family album and asked his mother, "Who's this guy on the beach with you, with all the muscles and curly hair?" "That's your father," said the mother. The boy seemed astonished as he said to his mom, "Then who's that old bald-headed fat man that lives with us no...
Sunday, April 22, 2012
JUST DECIDED TO CHECK ON YOU
A beautiful young girl is about to undergo a minor operation. She's laid on a trolley bed by a lady in a white dress and brought to the corridor. Before they enter the room she leaves her behind the theatre door to go in and check whether everything is ready. A young man wearing a white coat approaches, takes the sheet away and starts examining her naked body. He walks away and talks to another man in a white coat. The second...
Saturday, April 21, 2012
WHAT THE MEN AND THE LADIES WROTE
At the college, male & female
students were told to
individually write a sentence
using the words 'sex' and 'love.'
In summary, this is what the Females wrote:
"When two mature people are
passionately and deeply in love
with
one another to a high degree and
that they respect each other very
much,
then, it is spiritually and morally
acceptable to the society that
they both engage themselves in
the act of physical sex with...
Thursday, April 19, 2012
SIGNS YOU CAN'T FIND ELSEWHERE EXCEPT IN AFRICA
This is Africa!!! Here are some signs that you won´t find anywhere else in the world except in Africa.
In a restaurant in Zambia: "Open seven days a week and weekends."
On the grounds of a private school in South Africa: "No trespassing without permission."
On a window of a Nigerian shop: "Why go elsewhere to be cheated when you can come here?"
On a poster in Ghana: "Are you an adult who cannot read? If so, we can help."...
Wednesday, April 18, 2012
HE COMES HERE SOMETIMES
A friend asked a divorced woman, "When you were divorced you had only one child, How come now you have three children from your ex?”
The woman explained, “Well he comes here occasionally to apologiz...
Tuesday, April 17, 2012
MP JOKE
Officer: What Is Your Name?
Candidate: M P. Sir
Officer: Tell Me Properly.
Candidate: Moiet Pedro Sir
Officer: Your Father's Name?
Candidate: M P. Sir
Officer: What Does That Mean?
Candidate: Moiet Peter Sir.
Officer: Your Native Place
Candidate: M P. Sir
Officer: Is It Makurdi Purum?
Candidate: No, Minna Port Sir
Officer: What Is Your Qualification?
Candidate: M P. Sir
Officer: (angrily) What Is It?
Candidate:...
Monday, April 16, 2012
NOT IN TALKING TERMS
A man comes back from work at night and heads straight to the bedroom to make love to his wife. When done, he goes straight to the kitchen to fetch himself a bottle of cold drink only to find his wife there looking for something in the frigde. He asks his wife how she quickly made it to the kitchen when they've just finished making love. His wife says 'haaa!!! That was my mother in the bedroom?, she was so tired when she arrived'...
Saturday, April 14, 2012
BRAIN EXERCISE
This is not a story, it's just a little brain exercise for you to do... Okay?
Are you ready?
Do you think you can multitask?
Try this:
1. sit on a chair, lift your right
foot off the floor and make
clockwise circles with it.
2. While still doing that, draw the
number 6 with your right hand.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
You can't help it: your foot will
change direction.
Below is another similar exercise
similar to the first:
1. move your...
Friday, April 13, 2012
THEORY OF LOVE
If a girl is in LOVE, her Parents will ask Who's that IDIOT? ♥
If a boy is in LOVE, his Parents ask... IDIOT, Who's that girl..? ♥
MISCONCEPTION: No matter whoever in LOVE, boys are always IDIOTS. ♥
PROPOSED THEORY: Boys are normal before LOVE, but become IDIOTS after they fall in LOVE. ♥
CONCLUDED THEORY: Girls always LOVE IDIOTS ...
Wednesday, April 11, 2012
ANY MAIL FOR MIKE?
A rancher walked up to the window at the post office, where a new clerk was sorting mail. "Any mail for Mike Howe?" the rancher asked. The clerk ignored him and the rancher repeated his question in a louder voice. Without looking up, the clerk said, "No, none for your cow, and none for your horse, eithe...
Monday, April 9, 2012
SHORT CONVERSATION
phone rings.......
B/f: hello darling
g/f:how r u babes?
B/f: am good & u?
G/f: not good at all
b/f: why not honey?
G/f: i need 3000k for my hair....
B/f: this is voicemail service......press 1 to end this call or 2 to leave a message...
Saturday, April 7, 2012
THAT'S HOW THE FIGHT STARTED
FEGO....
One year, I decided to
buy my mother-in-law a
cementary plot as
a Christmas gift...
The next year, I didn't
buy her a gift.
When she asked me
why, I replied,
"Well, you still haven't
used the gift I bought
you last year!"
And that's how the
fight started.....
______________________________
__
My wife and I were
watching Who Wants
To Be A Millionaire while
we were in bed.
I turned to her and said,
'Do you want to have
Sex?'
'No,'...
Friday, April 6, 2012
HOW TO FLY AN AEROPLANE
One day, Akpos an aeroplane cleaner was cleaning
the pilot's cockpit when he saw a book entitled,
HOW TO FLY AN AEROPLANE FOR BEGINNERS,
VOLUME 1.
He opened the the first page which Read, To start
the engine, press the red button. He did so and the
airplane engine started. He was pleased and
opened the next page, To set airplane moving
press blue button. He did so and the plane started
moving at an amazing speed. He wanted to...
Thursday, April 5, 2012
LESS DAMAGE
After a Car Acident, The Following ensured btw a policeman and d driver... Policeman: Man, how did u kill 50 people in a car accident?
Driver: I was driving at about 120km/h, when i tried to stop I found that i had no brakes. I saw 2 men walking on the street and a wedding on the other side of the street, who should i hit?
Policeman: of course the two men, less damage.
Driver: that's what I thought to myself, but when I...
Wednesday, April 4, 2012
YOUR FIRST TIME
Once upon a time, a married couple celebrated their 25th marriage anniversary. They had become famous in the city for not having a single conflict in the 25 years they had spent together. Local newspaper editors had gathered at the occasion to find out the secret of their well- known "Happy Going Marriage". Editor: "Sir, It is amazingly unbelievable. How did you make this possible?" Husband recalling his old honeymoon days said:...
Tuesday, April 3, 2012
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