FAMILY PROBLEMS

Two men, one American and
an Indian were sitting in a
bar drinking shot after shot.
The Indian man said to the
American, "You know my
parents are forcing me to
get married to this so called
homely girl from a village
whom I haven't even met
once."
We call this arranged
marriage.
... I don't want to marry a
woman whom I don't love... I
told them that openly
and now have a hell lot of
family problems."
The American said, talking
about love marriages... well…
I'll tell you my story.
I married a widow whom I
deeply loved and dated for 3
years.
"After a couple of years, my
father fell in love with my
step-daughter and so my
father became my son-in-law
and I became my father's
father-in-law.
Legally now my daughter is
my mother and my wife my
grandmother.
More problems occurred
when I had a son. My son is
my father's brother and
so he is my uncle.
Situations turned worse
when my father had a son.
Now my father's son i.e. my
brother is my grandson.
Ultimately, I have become my
own grand father and I am
my own grandson…..
And you are saying that you
have family
problems……..Oh.. Come
on…..!!!!!!

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WHAT'S YOUR NAME?

Guy meets a girl in a bar and
after talking for a few minutes
he asks her name. She replies
Carmen, and he says that's one
of his favorite names. He asks if
her mother named her and she
says that she actually changed
her name to Carmen. When he
asked why, she replied because
she likes cars and men. She then
asked his name, to which he
replied, "Beerfuck."

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WE DO THIS EVERYDAY

Joel and his friend Jude had been drinking since until they got so drunk. When they were through with their drinking, they both went to Joel's house. On getting there, Joel tiptoed into the room; He opened the door and saw another man on his wife. He turned to his friend, "You see, that is my beloved wife, and thats me on top of her, we do this everyday!

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JUST GIVE ME MY CHANGE

There were three men living together in London. An African- American, a West Indian and a Nigerian. They were all starving because they didn't have money to buy food. However upon coming close to a posh London restaurant in this classy neighborhood, they decided to come up with a plan. The Afro-American went in first. After being seated, he ordered a three course meal with white wine. When he had finished the meal, the waiter came by with the bill. "LISTEN MY MAN, I ALREADY PAID YOU!" - the Afro- American shouted! The waiter was very confused because he could not remember being paid. But because he did not want to cause any trouble ... he let the brother leave. Five minutes later, the West Indian walked into the same restaurant and ordered a five course meal with red wine. When he was finished eating, the waiter came by to collect the money for the food. "HEY, HEY, LOOK At ME CROSSES BUT I'VE PAID YOU ALREADY!" - the West Indian shouted. This time the manager came and had to calm down the West Indian, because he did not want anything to upset the other customers. He let the guy go. Ten minutes later, the Nigerian walked in. He sat down, lit a cigarette, and ordered the most expensive meal on the menu, plus two bottles of Guinness. After he finished, the waiter came to collect the money for the meal, but before the Nigerian could say anything, the waiter spoke to him. "Sir... I have been having all sorts of problems all day and I can't understand it. Two other people like you came in earlier and ate, and they say that they paid me but I don't remember getting any money from then so..." Before he could finish, the Nigerian interrupted, rather emphatically, "I'M SORRY FOR YOU.... BUT THAT IS YOUR PROBLEM. I JUST WANT YOU TO GIVE ME MY CHANGE!"

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THE CRYING MAN

One day, a young guy was sitting inside a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half-an- hour. Then, A big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says: "Come on man, I was just joking. I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a young man like you crying." "No, it's not that. Today is the worst day of my life. First, I overslept and was late to an important meeting. My boss, in annoyance, fired me. When I left the office to go my car, I discovered it was stolen. I reported at the police station and they said they could do nothing. I got a taxi to go home, and after I paid the taxi driver and the taxi had gone, I found that I left my wallet in the car. I got home only to find my wife sleeping with the gardener. I left home and came to this bar. And when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison"

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THE STRANGERS

A very drunk man comes out of the bar and sees another very drunk man. He looked up into the sky and said, "Is this the sun or the moon?"
The other drunk man answered, "I don't know. I'm a stranger here myself."

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