A man with a gun goes into a
bank and demands their money.
Once he is given the money, he
turns to a customer and asks,
"Did you see me rob this bank?"
The man replied, "Yes sir, I did."
The robber then shot him in the
temper, killing him instantly.
He then turned to a couple
standing next to him and asked
the man,
"Did you see me rob this bank?"
The man replied, "No sir, I didn't,
but my wife did!"
Moral - When Opportunity
knocks......
Tuesday, May 29, 2012
Sunday, May 27, 2012
THE STRAY DOG
Minister was walking down the street when he came upon a group of about a dozen boys, all of them between 10 and 12 years of age. The group had surrounded a dog. Concerned lest the boys were hurting the dog, he went over and asked "What are you doing with that dog?" One of the boys replied, "This dog is just an old neighborhood stray. We all want him, but only one of us can take him home. So we've decided that whichever one of...
Tuesday, May 22, 2012
WHAT'S THE PENALTY?
The head priest at a certain
church was out for the day, so
he asked the deacon to do
confession for him. The deacon
agrees, and the first person that
comes says, "Forgive me, for I
just gave a guy a blow job." He
says, "You have sinned."
Then he looks at the sheet on
the wall that had punishments
for certain sins on it, but blow
job was not on there, so he
went out to ask one of the altar
boys what he usually gives for a
blow...
Saturday, May 19, 2012
PASTORAL CANDIDATES EVALUATION
The following is a confidential
report on several candidates
being considered for a
pastorate.
Adam:
Good man but problems
with his wife. Also one
reference told of how his
wife and he enjoy walking
nude in the woods.
Noah:
Former pastorate of 120
years with not even one
convert. Prone to unrealistic
building projects.
Abraham:
Though the references
reported wife-swapping, the
facts seem to show he never
slept with another man's
wife,...
Monday, May 14, 2012
CHARGED TO COURT FOR LAUGHING
A young woman who was several months pregnant was sitting in a bus. When she noticed a young man smiling at her she began feeling humiliated on account of her condition.
She changed her seat and he seemed more amused.
She moved again and then on seeing him laughing more. She filed a court case on him.
In the court the man's defence was:-
When the lady boarded the bus I couldn't help noticing she was pregnant.
She sat under...
Sunday, May 13, 2012
THE LIFE OF AKPAN
The Life of AKPAN
How do you recognize Akpan in school?
He is the one who erases the notes from his book when the teacher cleans the board.
In a conversation
AKPAN : I am proud because my son is in Medical College
Friend: Really? What is he studying?
AKPAN: No, he is not studying, they are studying him.
AKPAN: People consider me as a “GOD”
Wife: How do you know?
AKPAN: When I went to the park today, everybody said,...
Saturday, May 12, 2012
COMMITTING SUICIDE
A man who was fed up with life decided to end his life. He took a rope and went to the farm to hang himself. Upon reaching a tree, he tied the rope around the tree and hanged the loop around his ankle and suspended himself so his face was pointing to the ground and his leg, in the air.
A passer-by saw this scene and was curious and this is what ensued between them;
PASSER-BY: What are you doing?
MAN; Can't you see? I want to...
Tuesday, May 8, 2012
TELL ME MY NAME
A young college student had
stayed up all night studying for
his zoology test the next day. As
he entered the classroom, he
saw ten stands with ten birds
on them. Each bird had a sack
over its head; only the legs were
showing. He sat straight in the
front row because he wanted to
do the best job possible. The
professor announced that the
test would be to look at each of
the birds' legs and give the
common name, habitat, genus
and...
Saturday, May 5, 2012
THE BUSINESS TRIP
Delta Airlines recently introduced a special half-fare rate for wives accompanying their husbands on business trips. Anticipating some valuable testimonials, the publicity department of the airline sent out letters to all the wives of businessmen who used the special rates, asking how they enjoyed their trip. Responses are still pouring in asking, "What tri...
Thursday, May 3, 2012
FIVE IMPORTANT LESSONS IN LIFE
1. Money cannot buy happiness
but it's more comfortable to cry
in a Mercedes than on a bicycle.
2. Forgive your enemy but
remember the bastard's name.
3. Help someone when they are
in trouble and they will
remember you when they're in
trouble again.
4. Many people are alive only
because it's illegal to shoot them.
5. Alcohol does not solve any
problems, but then again, neither
does m...
Wednesday, May 2, 2012
HIJACK JOKE
A guy in plane stood up n shouted
“HIJACK!”
All passengers got scared and raised Hands
.
.
from other end Of the plane a guy shouted back
.
.
.
“Hi JOHN” ...
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