FREE OF CHARGE

Very early one morning, the Director walked into the office and caught the Manager kissing his Secretary. In his annoyence he shouted "is this what I pay you to do?"
The Manager nervously answered "no Sir, I DO THIS FREE OF CHARGE!"

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IT DEPENDS

One day, the teacher was reviewing counting with her first grade class. "Junior," she asked, "can you count your numbers from 1 to 10 without mistakes?" "yes," answered Junior and he counted 1 to 10.
"Now Johnny, can you count from 10 to 20?" "It depends," answered Johnny, "With or without mistakes?"

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THOSE WHO SEE BUT NEVER TALK

One sunday, a stubborn boy went to church. After everyone had given their offerings the pastor told the congregation to close their eyes while he blesses the offering but the stubborn boy was busy looking at the pastor. As the pastor was praying he took N2000 from the offering box, when he noticed that the boy was looking at him he said, "blessed are those who see but never talk" and the boy replied, "for they shall recieve their share after the service and the whole congregation responded "Amen!"

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THE AIR FLIGHT

During an air travel a stranger was sitting next to Little Johnny in the plane when the the stranger turned to Little Johnny and said, "Let us talk. I've heard that flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger."
Little Johnny, who had just opened his book, closed it slowly, and said to the stranger "What would you like to discuss?"
"Oh, I don't know," said the stranger. "How about nuclear power?" "OK," said Little Johnny. "That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first.
"A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat grass. The same stuff. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?" "Jeez," said the stranger. "I have no idea." "Well, then," said Little Johnny, "How is it that you feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don't know sh!t?"

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THE CRYING MAN

One day, a young guy was sitting inside a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half-an- hour. Then, A big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says: "Come on man, I was just joking. I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a young man like you crying." "No, it's not that. Today is the worst day of my life. First, I overslept and was late to an important meeting. My boss, in annoyance, fired me. When I left the office to go my car, I discovered it was stolen. I reported at the police station and they said they could do nothing. I got a taxi to go home, and after I paid the taxi driver and the taxi had gone, I found that I left my wallet in the car. I got home only to find my wife sleeping with the gardener. I left home and came to this bar. And when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison"

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