Barack Obama at a recent rural
elementary school assembly in
East Texas , asked the audience
for total quiet. Then, in the
silence, he started to slowly clap
his hands once every few
seconds, holding the audience in
total silence.
Then he said into the
microphone, 'Children, every
time I clap my hands together, a
child in America dies from gun
violence.'
Then, little Johnny , with a
proud East Texas drawl, pierced
the quiet and...
Saturday, June 30, 2012
Monday, June 25, 2012
AWAY FOR FORTY (40) YEARS
An Irishman and an American
were sitting in the bar at
Shannon Airport.
"I've come to meet my brother,"
said the Irishman. "He's due to
fly in from America in an hour's
time. It's his first trip home in
forty years".
"Will you be able to recognize
him?" asked the American.
"I'm sure I won't," said the
Irishman, "after all, he's been
away for a long time".
"I wonder if he'll recognize
you?" said the American.
"Of course he will,"...
Friday, June 15, 2012
THE HUNTING BIRD DOG
Two blondes suddenly got into
bird hunting and were eager to
try it out for themselves.
They had read that a birddog is
a great and useful accessory in
bird hunting, so they decided to
go to the pet shop and buy one.
They asked for a well-trained
birddog, and got one.
The two blondes immediately
went to the woods to try it out.
The dog didn't work. No matter
how hard they tried, it just
didn't follow their commands.
They became...
Thursday, June 14, 2012
ZODIAC PREDICTIONS| YOUR JOB TITLE
Astrology tells us about you and
your future simply by your
birthday. The Chinese Zodiac
uses the year of your birth.
Demographics tell us what you
like, dislike, whom you vote for,
what you buy, and what you
watch on TV. Well, the Corporate
Zodiac goes a step further:
simply by your job title, people
will have you all figured out…
Marketing: You are ambitious
yet stupid. You chose a
marketing degree to avoid
having to study...
Wednesday, June 13, 2012
HEIGHT OF HORNINESS
Girl : I'm warning you My Mummy is coming back in half an hour..
Boy : But I'm not doing anything..
Girl : That's why I'm warning you...........Hurry up dude, do something quick before she comes!! rEAD THESE IMPORTANT INFORMAT...
Tuesday, June 12, 2012
BREAD WINNER. (AN INTERVIEW WITH AKPORS
Journalist: Mr. Akpors, first of all, is it true that you are the bread winner in your family.
Akpors : I am not hearing that allegation for the first time, I have been hearing it for some time, I know this allegation is coming from my political enemies who want to tarnish my image.
I want to tell you that I have never been in any competition to win bread.
Ask them where I won that bread. If anyone saw me entering a competition...
Thursday, June 7, 2012
ENGLISH LANGUAGE HUMOUR
If you can pronounce correctly
every word in this poem, you
will be speaking English better
than 90% of the native English
speakers in the world. After
trying the verses, a Frenchman
said he'd prefer six months of
hard labour to reading six lines
aloud. Try them yourself.
Dearest creature in creation,
Study English pronunciation.
I will teach you in my verse
Sounds like corpse, corps, horse,
and worse.
I will keep you, Suzy, busy,
Make...
PICNIC
There were these two blondes
driving along the highway
looking for a place to stop and
picnic.
The first blonde says, "Let's stop
here, and have our picnic under
that tree."
The other says, "No! Let's have it
right here in the middle of the
road."
They argued about it for a bit,
but finally agreed to have it in
the middle of the road.
All of a sudden, a car comes
speeding towards them and has
to swerve into the tree to keep
from...
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