your future simply by your
birthday. The Chinese Zodiac
uses the year of your birth.
Demographics tell us what you
like, dislike, whom you vote for,
what you buy, and what you
watch on TV. Well, the Corporate
Zodiac goes a step further:
simply by your job title, people
will have you all figured out…
Marketing: You are ambitious
yet stupid. You chose a
marketing degree to avoid
having to study in college,
concentrating instead on
drinking and socializing, which
is pretty much what your job
responsibilities are now. Least
compatible with Sales.
Sales: Laziest of all signs, often
referred to as "marketing
without a degree," you are also
self-centered and paranoid.
Unless someone calls you and
begs you to take their money,
you like to avoid contact with
"customers" so you can "
concentrate on the big picture."
You seek admiration for your
golf game throughout your life.
Technology: Unable to control
anything in your personal life,
you are instead content to
completely control everything
that happens at your workplace.
Often even YOU don’t
understand what you are
saying, but who the heck can
tell?! It is written that the geeks
shall inherit the Earth.
Engineering: One of only two
signs that actually studied in
school, it is said that ninety
percent of all personal ads are
placed by engineers. You can be
happy with yourself: your office
is typically full of all the latest
"ergodynamic" gadgets.
Accounting: The only other sign
that studied in school, you are
mostly immune from office
politics. You are the most feared
person in the organization;
combined with your extreme
organizational traits, the
majority of rumors concerning
you say that you are completely
insane.
Human Resources: Ironically,
given your access to confidential
information, you tend to be the
biggest gossip within the
organization. Possibly the only
other person that does less
work than marketing, you are
unable to return any calls today
because you have to get a
haircut, have lunch, and mail a
letter!
Senior Management: Catty, cut-
throat, yet completely spineless,
you are destined to remain at
your current job for the rest of
your life. Unable to make a
single decision you tend to
measure your worth by the
number of meetings you can
schedule for yourself. Best
suited to marry other "Senior
Managers," as everyone in your
social circle is a "Senior
Manager."
Customer Service: Bright,
cheery, positive, you are a fifty-
cent cab ride from taking your
own life. As a child very few of
you asked your parents for a
little cubicle for your room and
a headset so you could pretend
to play "Customer Service."
Continually passed over for
promotions, your best bet is to
date your boss.
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