Log on - Making the wood stove
hotter by adding more logs of wood
Log off - Don't add any more
wood, instead, add water.
Monitor - Keep an eye on that
wood stove.
Download - Getting the
firewood off the truck.
Floppy disk - this is what you get from
trying to carry too much
firewood.
Ram - The stupid animal that split that
firewood.
Hard drive - Driving home with your car in the
winter
Window - What to shut when
it's cold outside.
Screen - What to shut during
*black fly season.
Screen saver - Duct tape for the
torn window screen.
Byte - What the *black flies do.
Bit - What the black flies did.
Megabyte - What the BIG black
flies do during trout season.
Chip - A snacks that computer scientists usually take for lunch
Microchip - The crumbs in the
bag after you've eaten the chips.
Modem - What you did to the
weeds growing in the driveway.
Dot matrix - Old Don Matrix's
wife.
Lap top - Where the beer spills
when you pass out.
Software - The dumb plastic
knives and forks they give you
at McDonalds.
Hardware - Real stainless steel
cutlery.
Mouse - What makes the holes
in the Cheerios box.
Main frame - What holds the
house up, hopefully.
Enter - The only way to win
those magazine ad sweepstakes.
Web - What a spida makes.
Web site - What's found in the
corners of high ceilings.
Cursor - Someone who studies and gratuated in cursing.
Search engine - What you do
when the car goes off unexpectedly.
Home page - A map you keep in
your back pocket to find your way back home in case you get
lost in the woods.
Upgrade - Steep hill.
Server - Waitress.
Mail server - A Male waitress,
damn few in Maine.
Sound card - One of the modern
technological birthday cards
that plays music when you open
them
User - The neighbor who keeps
borrowing stuffs from us.
Browser - A problem moose in
the garden or blueberry patch.
Network - Mending holes in the
fishnet.
Internet - A Complicated fishnet
repair method.
Netscape - What haddock do
when you don't do your
network.
Online - this is a good sign which indicates that there'll be
clean clothes for this week.
Offline - The clothes pins and clips let go
and the laundry falls to the
ground.
BACKUP - What you do when
you run across a skunk in the
woods.
BUG - The reason you give for
calling in sick.
DIGITAL - The art of counting on
your fingers.
DISKETTE - Female Disco dancer.
HACKER - Uncle Leroy after 32
years of smoking.
MEGAHERTZ - How your head
feels after 17 beers.
MOUSE PAD - Where Mickey and
Minnie live.
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