a 17 year old boy submitted at
a McDonald's fast-food
establishment in Florida... and
they hired him because he was
so honest and funny!
NAME: Greg Bulmash
SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for
the right person.
DESIRED POSITION: Company's
President or Vice President. But
seriously, whatever's available.
If I was in a position to be
picky, I wouldn't be applying
here in the first place.
DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a
year plus stock options and a
Michael Ovitz style severance
package. If that's not possible,
make an offer and we can
haggle.
EDUCATION: Yes.
LAST POSITION HELD: Target for
middle management hostility.
SALARY: Less than I'm worth.
MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT:
My incredible collection of
stolen pens and post-it notes.
REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.
HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK:
Any.
PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30
p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and
Thursday.
DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL
SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better
suited to a more intimate
environment.
MAY WE CONTACT YOUR
CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had
one, would I be here?
DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL
CONDITIONS THAT WOULD
PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP
TO 50 LBS?: Of what?
DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the
more appropriate question
here would be "Do you have a
car that runs?"
HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL
AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I
may already be a winner of the
Publishers Clearing house
Sweepstakes.
DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job no,
on my breaks yes.
WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE
DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in
the Bahamas with a fabulously
wealthy dumb beautiful blonde
super model who thinks I'm
the greatest thing since sliced
bread. Actually, I'd like to be
doing that now.
DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE
ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE
TO THE BEST OF YOUR
KNOWLEDGE?: Yes. Absolutely.
SIGN HERE: Aries.
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