There were 10 fish in the tank, two of them died when they were born, 5 of them were drown and another one drown. How Many Fish Were Left In The Tank?
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Wednesday, November 30, 2011
ASK AND IT SHALL BE GIVEN
John Jude closed from work work earlier than usual on Wednesday, when on his way home; John decided that he would give any lady that comes his way a free ride. After the third turn from his office in Victoria Island, he saw a Catholic Sister and gave her a free lift. While they were driving; he did not know how he would start a conversation with her. John therefore placed his hand on the Sister's laps pretending it was the car...
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
Riddle 18 - The driver
A bus driver was heading down
a street in Victoria Island. He went
past a stop sign without
stopping, he turned left where
there was a "no left turn" sign
and he went the wrong way on
a one-way street. Then he went
on the left side of the road past
a cop car. Still - he didn't break
any traffic laws. Why not.
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WHY MOST STUDENTS FAIL THEIR EXAMS
Let's look at the whole of a year. A year contains 365days, there are 52 Sundays in a year, number of days left 313. Summer holidays 50, Days left 263. 8 hours daily sleep-130 days, Days left 141. 1 hour daily playing means 15 days, Days left 126. 2 hours daily for eating means 30 days. Days left 96. 1 hr talking means 15 days, Days left 81. Examination days 35 days, Days left 46. Eid & Government holidays 20, Days left 26....
Monday, November 28, 2011
I CAN'T TAKE THE RISK
A man and his ever nagging and very troublesome wife went on holiday to the holy city of Jerusalem when the wife died unexpectedly. The undertaker said it will cost £5000 to ship her home or £50 to bury her there in Jerusalem. The man said that he'll prefer to ship her home. The undertaker said, "but Sir, why don't you bury her in the Holy Land here and save the money. The man said "a long time ago a man called Jesus was buried...
Sunday, November 27, 2011
DADDY AND AUNTY JANE
Little Johnny sees his Daddy's car passing the playground and going into the woods. Curious, he follows the car and sees Daddy and Aunt Jane k!ssing. Johnny finds this so exciting and can barely contain himself as he runs home and starts to tell his mother excitedly. "MOMMY, MOMMY, I WAS AT THE PLAYGROUND AND DADDY AND, " Mommy tells him to slow down, but that she wants to hear the story. So Johnny tells her. "I was at the playground...
Saturday, November 26, 2011
WE DO THIS EVERYDAY
Joel and his friend Jude had been drinking since until they got so drunk. When they were through with their drinking, they both went to Joel's house. On getting there, Joel tiptoed into the room; He opened the door and saw another man on his wife. He turned to his friend, "You see, that is my beloved wife, and thats me on top of her, we do this everyd...
JOHNNY'S PRAYER AT DINNER
At dinner time, Johnny, a little boy was ordered by his mother to lead in prayer.
Johnny: But I don't know what to pray about?
Dad: just pray for your family members.
"Dear Lord," Johnny started, "I thank you for giving me such lovely parents as mum and dad. Thank you for our visitors and their children, who finished all my cookies and iced cream. Bless them so that they won't come again. I pray you forgive our neighbor's...
Friday, November 25, 2011
10 MILLION DOLLARS $
An old woman who was about 90 years of age who is hypertensive won a 10 million dollars Jackpot. The children are worried about how to disclose the news to her, because of her hypertensive condition and they don't want her to die. They finally decided to inform their family Doctor who has been taking care of the old woman. On hearing the news, the Doctor said "Don't worry, I'm a trained professional in this field just bring her,...
Thursday, November 24, 2011
WHY JUDAS SOLD JESUS
One day, Jesus was walking with his disciples in a wilderness, all the disciples were very tired and hungry due to the day's stress. So, Jesus ordered his disciples to pick up a stone each. (the disciples didn't understand but complied). Judas was so angry and hungry and so, he picked up a very small pebble, whilst the other disciples picked up big stones, after sometime, Jesus commanded each disciple's stone to turn to bread,...
EVERYTHING HAS BEEN PREPARED
A man travelled abroad, checked into a hotel and discovered that was a computer in his room which is connected to the internet, so he decided to send an email to his wife. However, he accidentally typed the wrong email address, and without realizing, he sent the mail to a widow who has just returned from her husband's burial. The widow decided to check her mail, expecting condolence and sympathising messages from families and...
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
Riddle 17 - I am unchanged
Take away my first letter and I am unchanged; Take away my second letter and I am unchanged; Take away all my remaining letters and I am still unchanged! What am I?
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YOUR WIFE FELL FIVE TIMES
An old priest got fed up of all the people in his parish who kept confessing of adultery. One Sunday, on the pulpit, he said, "If I hear one more person confess of adultery, I'll quit!" Well, everyone liked him, so they came up with a coded word. A person who had committed adultery would say he/she had "fallen." This seemed to satisfy the old priest and things went well for a long time until the priest died at an old age. About...
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
NOW, WE'RE GOING TO SEE A MOVIE.
One day, a truck driver was on his way to a state zoo to deliver 200 penguins, on his way, his truck broke down and doesn't seem to respond to repair after several hours and so, the diver decided to make an arrangement with another truck driver. "Please, help me take these penguins to the state zoo he said and they agreed on $500. The next day the original truck driver arrives in town and sees the new truck driver crossing the...
Monday, November 21, 2011
Mum" said a 5 year old Boy to his Mother "Do all Angels fly? Mother: Yes Dear, why do you ask..? Boy: Well yesterday while you were at the Salon, Dad called our New House Girl an Angel, will she fly too? Mother: Yes Dear, she will fly to their Village tomorrow Morning and never come Ba...
Riddle 16 - what day?
When the day after tomorrow is yesterday, today will be as far from Wednesday as today was from Wednesday when the day before yesterday was tomorrow. What is the day after this day?
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RICH MAN, POLICE AND THIEF
A man was carrying a bag like a wealthy man and was walking around a trade fair. A thief wanted to snatch the bag from him, not knowing the man was holding the bag very tightly. The man and the thief were struggling and dragging the bag when a police man came, arrested them and took them to the police station.
OFFICER: Who owns this bag?
BIG MAN: Officer, I'm the owner of the bag
THIEF: Don't mind this man, the bag is mine...
Sunday, November 20, 2011
THAT'S NOT FAIR, DAD
A boy caught his dad red handed with their maid making l0v£ and his dad gave him 500 naira (nigerian currency) not to tell his mum. Almost refusing the money, the boy said: dad, that's not fair, mum gave me 1000 naira when I caught her with our gate m...
Saturday, November 19, 2011
A TOUCHING STORY
There was a mosquito and a dog who loved each other very much. One day the mosquito got very excited and gave the dog a love bite. The dog too became emotional and returned the love bite to the mosquito. The next day… the mosquito died of rabies and dog died of malar...
Friday, November 18, 2011
JUST LEAVE ME ALONE
A surgeon told his patient that woke up after having been operated: "I'm afraid we're going to operate you again. Because, you see, I forgot my rubber gloves and a pair of scissors inside you." "Well, if it's just because of them, I'd rather pay for them, you just leave me alon...
Thursday, November 17, 2011
Riddle 15 - The contest
A King organised a contest to see who would marry his only daughter, the princess.
The Princess was put in a 50x50 foot carpeted room. Each of her four suitors were put in one corner of the room with a small box to stand on. The first of them to touch the Princess' hand would be the winner and become the heir to the throne. The rules of the test were that the contestants could not walk over the carpet, cross the plane of the...
I'M PUTTING ON MY SAFETY HELMET
While driving to work one day, I was delayed by a very serious traffic (hold up), while still thinking of how I'll get out of the traffic, I saw a bike man riding on the narrow pavement separating the bridge from a big river just in order to get out of the hold up. I told him to be patient but he Ignored. So, I asked him "If eventually you fall inside that river, can you swim out of it alive?" He replied, "I agree that I can't...
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
Riddle 14 - The beggar's brother
A beggar's brother died, but the man who died had no brother. How could this be?
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YOU'LL DIE OF PNEUMONIA
Patient: Doctor, are you sure I'm suffering from pneumonia? I've heared once about a doctor treating someone with pneumonia and finally he died of typhus.
Doctor: Don't worry, it won't happen to me. If I treat someone with pneumonia he will surely die of pneumoni...
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
THIS IS NOT MY DOG!
One man walks into a store one day and sees a cute little dog. He asks the shopkeeper, “Does your dog bite?” The store keeper answers, “No, my dog does not bite.” The man tries to pet the dog and the dog bites him. “Ouch!” He says, “I thought you said your dog does not bite!” The store keeper replies, “That is not my do...
Monday, November 14, 2011
BIKE MAN BACKING A GOAT
One day, I was walking through the streets of Lagos, I wasn't happy because of the hard times I was passing through and so I didn't smile or laugh at anyone, as I was about to cross to the other side of the road, I saw someone or should I say something that made me laugh, a man on bike and his passenger was a goat clinging to his bike. I...
YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME
One day, a woman caught her husband sleeping with the secretary. She said, " honey, you can't do this to me". The husband replied, "yes I know, that's why am doing it to h...
Sunday, November 13, 2011
THE CAT GETS WET
One day, a fish was swimming about 1 foot below the surface of a lake and saw a fly flying just out of striking distance. The fish said to itself, “If that fly should come six inches closer, I’ll jump up and have myself a juicy meal.” Just then, a bear on the shore of the lake looked up and said to itself, ” if that fly gets any closer to that fish, the fish will jump up, and i’ll catch the fish and have myself a wonderful meal.”...
Saturday, November 12, 2011
A SECRET BETWEEN GOD AND EVE
Read through this short conversation between God and Eve.
'God, I have a problem. '
'What's your problem Eve?'
'I know you created me and provided this beautiful garden and all these wonderful animals as well as that hilarious snake, but I'm just not happy, '
'And why is that Eve?'
'God, I am lonely and bored and I'm sick to death of apples.'
'Well Eve, in that case I shall create a man for you'
'Man?
What is that,...
CYCLING TO SCHOOL
The topic for today's English lesson was conjuction,
Teacher explains: "conjuctions are used to link or join two words, phrases or sentences." (while the teacher was teaching, she noticed that Johnny was not paying attention to her. She then decides to ask him a question.)
Teacher: Johnny, join these two sentences together. I was cycling to school, I saw a dead body.
Johnny: (thinking for a while) I saw a dead body cycling...
Friday, November 11, 2011
Riddle 12 - the tied goat and the hay
A goat is tied to a five meter rope, six meters away from it was a pile of hay. Without breaking the rope, the goat was able to get to the pile of hay. How is this possible?
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DON'T WORRY, I CAN CURE PNEUMONIA
A man suffering from a terrible cold went to see his doctor. The doctor prescribed some pills, but they didn't help. On his next visit to the hospital, the doctor gave him a shot, but that didn't do any good too. On his third visit the doctor told the man, "Go home and take a hot bath. As soon as you finish bathing throw open all the windows and stand in the draft." "But doctor," protested the patient, "if I do that, I'll get...
Thursday, November 10, 2011
TWO DOGS ON THEIR WEDDING DAY
Can you imagine, I was riding on my bicycle one day, when I saw a church where a wedding was going on, being so hungry with no hope of getting money to buy food and thinking of the food that will shared there, I entered the church. I lingered to see the couple of the day, guess who the couple are... Two do...
SHORT TIME TO LIVE
A man goes to his doctor for a complete medical checkup. He has not been feeling well for a while and wants to find out if he's ill. After the checkup the doctor comes out with the results of the medical examination. "I'm afraid I have some bad news. You're dying and you don't have much time to live," the doctor says. "Oh no, that's terrible. How long have I got?" the man asks. "10..." says the doctor. "10? 10 what? Months? Weeks?...
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
STRAIGHT TO YOUR BALLS
A guy in who was a hurry mistakenly used the ladies toilet in a big time hotel. He sat down so comfortable and saw three buttons . WW. WA. and APR. CURIOUSLY. He pressed WW and his body was gently sprayed wit warm water,he loved it so much so he decided to press the WA. and blast of air dried him up happily he went for the last button APR and he woke up to meet himself in the hospital, then the nurse said sir, APR means Automatic...
STUPID MAMA
Yo mama is so stupid that when the computer said "Press any key to continue", she couldn't find the 'Any' key.
Yo mama is so stupid that I saw her jumping up and down, asked what she was doing, and she said she drank a bottle of medicine and forgot to shake it.
Yo mama is so stupid that she puts lipstick on her head just to make-up her mind
Yo mama is so stupid that I told her Christmas was just around the corner and she...
Tuesday, November 8, 2011
Riddle 11 - 7 apples
A doctor and a bus driver are both in love with the same girl, an attractive girl named Jane. The bus driver had to go on a long bus trip that would last a week. Before he left, he gave Sarah seven apples. Why?
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WHY A BEAR SHOT A WAITER
A panda bear walks into a restaurant. He orders the special delicacies and eats everything. After he finished eating, he pulled out a pistol, killed the waiter and started to walk out through the door. The owner of the restaurant got annoyed says, “Hey, what are you doing? You come in here, you kill my waiter and walk away without even saying a word. I don't understand." The panda says, “Look it up in the dictionary,” and walks...
Monday, November 7, 2011
Riddle 10 - The shot
One woman shoots her husband. After the shot she holds him under water for over 5 minutes. Finally, she hangs him. But 5 minutes later they both go out together and enjoy a wonderful dinner night together. How can this be? Explain.
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THE FORTUNE
Daughter told to her mother,
“Right now I just see a healthy white big cat went out from our kitchen”
Mother tells daughter,
” It is good sign and fortune to see a white big cat.”
Daughter replied,
“Yes, and fortune is that it has eaten all of your food...
Sunday, November 6, 2011
HUNG TO DRY
After hearing that one of the patients in a mental hospital had saved another from a suicide attempt by pulling him out of a bathtub, the hospital director reviewed the rescuer's file and called him into his office. "Mr. Haroldson, your records and your heroic behavior indicate that you're ready to go home. I'm only sorry that the man you saved later killed himself with a rope around the neck." "Oh, he didn't kill himself," Mr....
Saturday, November 5, 2011
POTATOES
Three women escaped from prison. A blonde and two brunets. So to get away from the cops they hid in an abandoned farm house. In the farm house there were three burlap sacks sitting around. So they hid in them. When the cops came to the farm house the one of the cops saw the sacks, the officers yells, "There's just three burlap sacks in here!" To which his partner replies, "Then kick them just to be sure it's not them hiding"....
Friday, November 4, 2011
ALL YOUR TROUBLES
Girl: When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden.
Boy: That's very kind of you, darling, But I don't have any worries or troubles.
Girl: Well that is because we aren't married y...
Thursday, November 3, 2011
I THOUGHT YOU DIDN'T KNOW IT
One day, a mother called her child and asked him, 4 x 4 and the boy said twelve. The mother got annoyed and started beating him. Just then the dad came in and asked what the problem was, then the mother answerd "I asked him just 4 x 4 and he doesn't know the answer", then the dad asked his wife,"what is the answer?" The mum said its 14. Then the dad said" GOD has saved you, I thought you didn't know i...
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
SOFTWARE ERROR - SOFTWARE UPDATE
A woman is having s£x with her lov£r in an apartment 20 stories high......Suddenly her husband returns from a long trip, and she hears him approaching in the apartment. So she tells the lov£r: "Do not move at all....I will resolve this situation!" In comes the husband: "who is this?" asked the husband
Wife: "Oh sweetie...this is just a robot I bought to have s£x with when you're not around, so that I don't have to cheat with...
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
Brain teaser 2 - FLOATING SHIP
There is a ship floating at anchor at low tide with a ladder over the side. The ladder has 10 rungs, each 1m apart. If at low tide 5 rungs are below the surface of the water, and the water rises at 1.5m per hour, then how many rungs of the ladder will be visable 2 1/2 hours later?
To check the answer, scroll to the top of this page and select the brain teasers answers t...
CELEBRATING FREEDOM
Wife: Hey! look at that funny guy who is drunk...
Husband: who is he?
Wife: He is my ex-boyfriend, I denied him for marriage
Husband: Oh My God! He is still celebrating his freed...
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